Quatervois
by insanity-dreams
Summary: He decided to show her a few things because she was afraid to live, and afraid to die. That wasn't a good way to exist. Sakura-centric, Sakura/Sasuke.


_Geesh. This is kind of something ambitious to take on, considering it's going to be kind of like a novel and is going to have a lot of words and I'm going to try and study up on vocabulary so that the story could flow better. This chapter began sometime in Nov. I'm not going to be bothered and check the date. Please do review._

* * *

I was never the type of girl to go out and succumb to parties every Saturday, or to have a boyfriend.

I was the type to stay at home and reread the SAT vocabulary list over and over again until I found myself sitting in front of the television at home and somehow begin thinking:

_Derided__—__verb__—__past tense of deride__—__express contempt for; ridicule._

Everything in my life changed on the morning of a particularly lazy Sunday when I heard my mother's terrifying wailing and crying which woke me up from my sleep in a flurry of sheets and textbooks.

As I made my way to her, counting off the worst-case-scenarios in my head: Dad—dead, Ino—dead, Anyone—dead, I blindingly searched for the light switch in the hallway with my skewed vision and nearly tripped on my own two feet. After that, I decided to give up on the search and just walk in the dark in full-blown panic.

I headed down to the living room where I saw my father somewhat consoling my mother and his expression melted into one of relief when he noticed me and subtly waved me over with the hand that wasn't rubbing my mother's back.

Slowly, I walked over with the bubbling feel of apprehensiveness overwhelming me even more and rising into my veins.

"She's going through some mother-daughter post distress trauma. I don't know, just... Help her." My father whispered to me softly and handed over my tear streaked parent.

As you can tell, my father wasn't very creative in explaining anything, or maybe the whole situation was just indescribable. Or maybe if he did explain it, he'd cry because my father_ is_ the sensitive type.

I remember the day I received my kindergarten graduation diploma, and he had clutched it to his chest. There were tears in his eyes and when I asked if he was crying, he wiped them away and said that it was the dust... Right before breaking into a sob.

He backed out of the room without hesitation—which, to me, was ill-mannered. I resisted the urge to put a hand over my eyes to shield them from the sun that was spilling through the white shutters with ferocious hostility. It was also unnecessary, since the light was already on in the room. The cable-box digital time blinked that it was now seven forty-nine o'clock in the morning, way too early to be crying.

"Uh..." I stuttered, dubious to the fact that I'd make her feel comfort. "What's wrong, mom?"

"Sakura, deary." She sobbed and her voice sounded hoarse and tired which made me wonder how long she'd been crying for. "Am I a bad mother?"

For a moment I was flabbergasted because for one thing, she was an amazing mother, and for another thing—_this_ is what she was crying for?

"No, you aren't. Why would you think such a thing?"

"Because you're never in any group activities with the school and that makes me think that your poor old mother puts too much pressure on you to pass your SAT's."

Her head fell on my chest and she gripped at the fabric there, bundling it up with something akin to misery. I could just detect the sadness radiating from her and now I could tell why my dad couldn't comfort her. He didn't understand women.

"Oh, mom. If anything I'm the one who's putting pressure on myself. I always shut my door and bury myself in pre-tests!" I substantiated, trying to pry her steel like grip away from my oversized red shirt.

I heard her sniffle.

"Does that mean you'll join the dance group in your school?"

"A...dance group? Ch—Cheerleading?" I inquired, slightly miffed at the fact she wanted me to join something as stupid and pretentious as that.

As I was about to refuse to do the said event because it was irrelevant to succeeding in my life it dawned on me that I was an _only child_.

I never had a sibling that could fulfill my mother's needs to go ahead and participate in social activities. She would never have a daughter who'd come home in a boy's sweater because he just walked her home, or a daughter who'd put her schedule up on the refrigerator so that her parents could be reminded of her games. She'd never have a daughter who'd wear a golden class-ring around her thumb, the ones that were set apart from the usual silver ones, evidence that she had participated in programs.

"It'd sure make your mother feel better." She replied, and I could hint at a wisp of truculence underlying her tone.

And so began my roller-coaster life ride.

* * *

**Quatervois  
****Prologue**

qua· ter· vwa

(n)

_A turning point in one's life._

* * *

"Does this mean you're going to be joining the cheerleading squad with me?"

I turned to where the voice originated from, feeling bitter, and sighed. After the entire scenario with my mother yesterday morning, I didn't even want to seriously talk about cheerleading.

"Ino, don't make me feel apathetic about the entire thing."

She scrunched up her face, placed a hand on her hip and gave a microscopic shake of her head, blonde bangs falling in her face gracefully.

"Ugh, there you go again." Ino complained, a slight pout weighing down on her lower lip—something she did to boys to get them to acquire to her every whim. "Can you stop using big words around me? We're_ seventeen _and you act like you're fifty-eight with ninety cats!"

Ino Yamanaka, was my absolute best friend albeit we were nothing alike. People sometimes wondered why a party girl with good looks could know a social-hermit like myself. She'd just flip her hair over her shoulder, bat her eyes and impudently tell anyone who asked that she loves me and that fact will never change.

When we first met, I was already living in Konoha for ten years and somebody had just moved in across my street into the Inuzuka's old house, entering the cul-de-sac chock full of other ten year old girls who rode their bikes and sneered at any female around their age.

I first saw her when she stepped outside, clad in a multicolored cotton skirt that flowed loosely around her legs and a tube top. It was almost as if she'd just come back from the beach.

Purple rimmed heart sunglasses that took up half of her face covered her eyes and her blonde hair was short and barley hit her collarbone, a hairstyle that became similar to mine when we aged older while her hair grew out.

She directed the workers who were carrying boxes full of their property, inside her new home.

I walked over there when my mother told me to greet her once she found me staring, and nearly ran on impulse as soon as Ino looked at me. Well, I_ think _she looked at me—I couldn't exactly tell with the dark tinted sunglasses.

There was an entire lawn between us, separating us in case she ignored me and I couldn't come into her different world.

_We_ were from different worlds.

She shifted and took off her glasses, perching them up on her head and _smiled_ at me.

"I'm Ino."

I took in a deep breath, giving her my own smile and smoothed my hair, feeling ordinary in my white shirt that was tucked into my cut offs. "I'm Sakura."

She sat down near the flower beds as her mother came out of the house, dressed similarly, sunglasses also on her head, and Ino patted the spot next to her, indicating for me to sit by her.

So I crossed the lawn and entered her world as we watched the movers take in boxes and talked about her hometown, Suna.

"I'm not one of your boy-toys, Ino. That look won't work on me." I informed her with a disapproving look and turned away to sweep my eyes over the gym arena where the cheerleading tryouts are being currently held.

"And anyways," I continued on, letting my book-bag drop on the small space in between bleacher benches and then saw a few girls below our spot start to glare at Ino for some reason. When I turned to look at her, she didn't even notice—or maybe she didn't care. "I'm supposed to use big words, they help my vocabulary."

Ino was a very beautiful girl, to be truthful. She always got glacial-like stares from any girl we passed and they'd pull their boyfriends closer to them in fear that somehow Ino would magically hypnotize them into a lucid trance and suck them in like an unstoppable black-hole.

She's had quite a few boyfriends, however, they never work out because of the not very significant fact that she wanted to find a boy that was extraordinary. She wanted someone who was out-of-this-world crazy.

"Hm." Ino hummed that syllable while the previous head cheerleader was taking a short roll-call from the names that signed in the program a good fifteen minutes ago. "I'm going to have to get you to loosen up for the party, though!"

I opened my mouth to question her about this party and the whole 'we' pairing until my name was called.

"Sakura Haruno." The old captain scanned the small group of girls scattered on the bleachers, all in the same pair of gray sweats and blue tee's.

Raising my hand, she nodded and looked back down on the list to pick up from where she stopped.

"What party?" I demanded strictly, shooting her a hard look and Ino returned it with another pout of the lips and I snapped quietly: "Stop that!"

"Please come with me to this party on Maine after the results are up! It's for the new cheerleaders all throughout Konoha!" She pleaded, grabbing a hold of my hand and intertwining her fingers through mine.

"And how do you know we'll get in?"

"Because we're awesome." Ino had a wicked smile on her face, eyes so blue that they were almost transparent.

"Ino Yamanaka."

Her hold on my hand dropped and the ever-present-smile on her face widened, pumping up an arm in the air. "Here and ready to try out!"

I stared at her. Ino and myself were so different from each other—water and oil—and yet, she stayed by my side ever since that day we sat near the flower beds and she picked at them, creating a small bouquet.

She was fascinating and utterly gorgeous in the unconscious, predictable ways that I was not. And then I entertained the fact that she'd find her extraordinary boy soon, but I'd have to wait another life because of how I live.

* * *

It turns out that the try outs weren't that much of a difficulty and a week later on Friday, the results came in, posted on the activities-and-program cork board in the hallway.

In alphabetical order the list went, and I soon found my name and Ino's. I'd gotten in, much to Ino's glee, and we picked up our uniforms after school and headed home to where I would tell my mom the news.

"I told you we'd make it in!" Ino told me, a slightly smug tone smearing her voice. "Never doubt me."

We walked in step, me with the already pressed sweater and skirt uniform folded in a clear plastic covering tucked under one of my arms, and Ino with hers hugged tightly to her stomach.

"I never doubted you, per say." I said, rolling my eyes. "I merely questioned the fact of how you can possibly 'see into the future'." There were invisible air-quotes hanging in the air which she noticed and pursed her lips at me.

"Don't try to get all smart with me. I'll sass you."

Our laughs mingled together and soon enough, we found ourselves in front of my house.

"Remember, the party is at eight!" She reminded me with a directed finger at my uniform. "Wear the outfit so that you'll be let in. I'll pick you up, kay?"

"Okay."

I decided to just give into her demand before she'd embarrassingly drag me over to the party. I walked through my lawn and she crossed the street, going off into our own little different lives.

When I finally told my mother I got into the squad, she nearly exploded with questions.

"Oh, my God. Do you get one uniform only? Do you need to buy white shoes? What kind?" Then she ran her hand over the plastic covering. "I need to hang this up so it won't get wrinkled! Do you have your schedule yet?"

After a moment of catching her breath, she pulled me in a hug and I accepted her warmth with open arms. She was truly happy with me getting into the cheerleading team and the evident grin on her face that I got a peek at before I was engulfed in her lavender soap smelling blouse made me happy also, even if I never wanted to try out for this activity. But if my mother was happy, I was happy too.

From my peripheral vision, I saw my father smiling.

* * *

"Can you slow the hell down?" I shrieked, somehow tightening my grip on the passenger assist handle that was on the ceiling of the car. I wasn't one to really curse, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

I'd never actually been in a car with Ino, but as of right now, I'm never getting into one with her ever again. She was driving at least ten miles over the speed limit, although I couldn't tell because the speedometer was broken.

Ino scoffed. "Don't be a baby, we're perfectly safe!" She reached up to fix the lopsided rear-view mirror that had a crack running along the right side. We were far from perfectly safe.

Inhaling a deep breath, I let it out, and repeated. It was a ritual that my mother taught me when she went to yoga, it was called: "Deep Breathe". It calmed me down.

Trying to focus my attention elsewhere rather than the blurring images that we passed, I looked at the backseat floor of the SUV, or as she liked to call it: _Shitty_, her SUV. And shitty it was. The car didn't really work at first when we tried to leave, Ino had to coax it by turning the key a few times, the gearshift got stuck when she tried to move it, and the back was literally cluttered with makeup and magazines. There were mascaras, lipsticks, a brush, about five pairs of sunglasses, and the latest magazines from the mall on the backseat.

Ino didn't bother to slow down to a stop when we reached the house either, she just slammed her foot on the break pedal which caused us both to lurch forward and a magazine to fall with a thud. She glanced at me with a sheepish smile and I unfastened my safety belt so quickly that I might have broken a wrist.

We both walked in the house simultaneously wearing the same identical white sweater with a single neon blue stripe going diagonal across the chest, saying our team name, and the same identical white skirt that hugged our legs with three blue diagonal strips on the right and left corners of the skirt. It was nothing special, very simple. As I looked around I noticed that all the girls in the party were from different schools and also wore their team uniform.

Ino was wrong, it wasn't a party for the Konoha cheerleaders specifically, it was a party for all the newly recruited cheerleaders who could make it!

The music was fuzzy outside, but inside it was loud and clear, forcing itself through my ears in loud beats. The stereo was turned up so loud that as we neared the speakers to get to the kitchen where Ino spotted a few people she recognized, I made sure that I wasn't really close to it, afraid that it might explode. Whatever chances of that happening were.

When we got into the kitchen, I noticed Shikamaru and Sai.

Shikamaru was a cashier at the grocery store that my father shopped at. Last summer vacation, Ino and I went in to go buy some ice-pops—against my protest because I wanted to go home and use the bathroom—it being disbelievingly hot and all! Shikamaru picked up the pops to scan once we got to him, which was pretty quick since his lane: _'Under Ten Items'_ was empty, but I quickly asked him for the bathroom keys. He gave a droning sigh, obviously annoyed but handed them over nonetheless. I would have taken my sweet time getting there since the supermarket had the A/C on, but I really needed to use it. Upon my return, I found Ino leaning over the counter, twirling a strand of her hair and popping her bubblegum. _Flirting. _With Shikamaru.

Soon, it became a daily routine to visit the grocery store on his work days so frequently that he started buying Ino,_ and_ me, ice-pops. I was merely a bystander, awkwardly watching them flirt while I continued eating a pop that Shikamaru bought, mine usually being the flavor I disliked but I didn't want to tell him and piss him off. This daily life kept going until school started and we couldn't visit him anymore.

He was a senior in this hippy school. I heard that they had breathing exercises instead of laps in P.E.

Ino and I were juniors.

Then there was Sai.

A lot of girls liked him, from what Ino told me. He wasn't a player at all, though. He actually treated women decently but surely had a strange way of showing it. Ino and him had gotten close through a project last year, and she informed me with 'juicy' details that he was a legit God.

At first, I disagreed because he called me ugly the first time Ino introduced us. Then he told me it was to show affection to a lovely lady, and Ino heard and has been playing matchmaker since.

"Look, it's Sai!" Ino squealed, but then her eyes moved onto a certain spiked-ponytail boy, and smoothed her bangs. "Shikamaru!" She smiled, walking over to him.

A lazy smile tugged at his lips when he looked up at her, placing his cup full of what I could only assume was alcohol down on the counter he was sitting next to. They'd gotten pretty close, from what she tells me. Texting each other nonstop.

She sat on his lap and my memory pulled me back to last summer, standing awkwardly by the big glass windows that was on the side of the store, inviting everyone to look inside, and trying not to seem superbly uncomfortable as Ino threw her head back and laughed before kissing Shikamaru's cheek.

I shook my head just as she leaned in and did the same thing to him as last summer. I looked away just as Sai caught my eye. He had walked over to the dining room somehow without any of us noticing, and actually motioned for me to come over to his side. I looked at the cheek-kissing people. Ino was busy, she wouldn't miss me.

"Hey." I greeted him loudly over the noise, and he glanced at me.

"Hey."

We stood there in silence, aside from the pounding music and laughing. Our arms were touching and I could feel his heat radiating. I felt strange, like I was somewhere I wasn't really supposed to be. I felt like an outsider.

"—kura! Hey!"

I hadn't notice Sai waving a hand in front of me, but once I did I felt embarrassed. I slightly leaned away from his palm.

"Uhm... Yeah?"

"Wanna play?" He questioned, holding up a quarter and waving to the wooden table that had a row of red disposable cups that were lined up in a triangle. Beer pong.

I was beginning to shake my head, the words: _"I'm not into that sort of thing..."_ tingling on the tip of my tongue, waiting to be let out, and then I saw him.

He was staring at me, leaning on a door near the kitchen. He had spiked hair and straight bangs that he flicked out of the way with a jerk of his head. He was _pretty_, and he was _staring_ at _me. _Not at Ino, and I even slightly turned my head over my shoulder to see if anybody was there, but there wasn't anyone else. It was a wall. When I looked back to find him, he was gone.

I slowly blinked, trying to decipher if I had imagined the whole thing or not. I looked over at Ino instantly, like I always do when I'm confused, and she was staring at me too, but not as intensely as the guy had. She looked happy and gave a thumbs up, telling me to go for playing beer pong.

"I... Sure."

Sai handed me the quarter.

* * *

Sai was sitting next to me, talking about a new painting he was working on. He was an artist at a local shop a mile or two down from my house. I wasn't really listening, though. I was on edge, my heart racing like something was going to happen. It was like an adrenaline high I obtained ever since noticing that strange guy.

"'Sup, Sai?"

I turned my head over to see him. My eyes went slightly wide and his gaze slid from Sai to me, somewhat of a smirk on his lips. Up close, he was gorgeous! His eye color was an obsidian kind, and they looked sort of murky. He was in a short sleeved navy blue shirt and jeans. He held a red drinking cup, and there were two silver rings on his thumb, one on top of the other. His hair was thick and stuck up in the back, not just spiky as I'd seen from a distance. He didn't look like Sai, or Shikamaru, or any boy I've come to known. He didn't look like_ anyone._

"What's happening, Sasuke?" He asked, extending a hand to do some weird boy handshake. At least his face had a name.

"Same shit." Sasuke laughed bitterly and sighed. Then he nodded at me, "Gonna introduce me to her, or what?"

Shifting, Sai slid an arm over the back of my chair and leaned back. "She's Sakura."

"Hey, Sakura." Sasuke smirked again. His eyes dropped down to my uniform and I unconsciously pulled the hem of my skirt lower, feeling a blush creep up the back of my neck. "You go to KHS, too?"

Too? Did he go there? I mentally frowned, trying to recall if I'd ever seen him before in the halls. I hadn't. Mustering up enough courage to reply, I not-so-audibly cleared my throat and nodded. "Yeah. Do you?"

Shaking his head, he took a sip of his beverage. "I go to SHS, Sound High School." That's the hippy school that Shikamaru attends. "It's a shit of a place—"

"Used to." Sai interjected. I looked over to Sai and he rolled his eyes at Sasuke. "He used to go to SHS, that was until he got kicked out."

"Whatever." He frowned, obviously not happy with someone interrupting him talking.

"How come you said, too?" I asked.

Sasuke rose an eyebrow, taking another sip. I realized how grammatically incorrect that was.

"I mean, how come you asked if I went to KHS also?" I rephrased quickly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Oh, got a few friends there, that's all."

I waited for a further explanation or questions, like if I knew anyone that he did, but it never came.

"He doesn't really talk much. A man of few words." Sai informed me, almost as if I'd thought out loud.

I nodded, Sasuke seemed like the kind of person to get straight to the point, no beating around the bush. Then I took notice that the music wasn't playing as loud anymore, and I adverted my eyes to the living room, which still had people grinding against each other crudely, the music loud enough for them to move their hips in sync with the bass, but lowly enough for my ears to have relief.

Said boy tsked and shook his head. Someone yelled out his name, and I scanned the crowd, trying to see who it was, but there were too many people. Just like that—like magic—he stepped into the flock of teenagers, and disappeared.

* * *

I leaned against the wall, the garage door was open and the cool air was sweeping itself into the empty room.

It was already eleven, and I had to be home in thirty minutes at the latest, since that was the curfew my parents agreed on. As for Ino, her mother didn't really care at what time she returned, as long as she still attended school and didn't get pregnant.

My bare legs had goosebumps rising on them from wearing the cheerleading skirt. I glanced over my shoulder at the door that fell adjacent to the shelf of paint cans. A silver of light grazed the concrete floor, an effect from the light radiating from the slightly open door that led to the kitchen. A chorus of yells emanated from there, although it was slightly muffled it was obvious that the party was only getting rowdier by the hour, and not dying out.

I leaned down to my legs to rub them lightly. I escaped from Sai and Ino unnoticed, and found a quieter place to let my headache attenuate. The music that had calmed down suddenly became so loud that once I came into the garage, my ears were ringing. It was a wonder why the neighbors hadn't called the police yet.

"Isn't it a bit too cold for you to be here?"

My body acted of its own accord, snapping up in an instant and I spun around to see Sasuke raising an eyebrow at my sudden movements. He appeared out of nowhere.

I rested my gaze on his hands that held two cups instead of one and moved my vision back up to his face, confused until he offered one of the cups to me.

"I saw you come in here a few minutes ago." He explained and placed one of the plastic cups next to a paint can. It was a greenish colored can that reminded me of moss.

I took the cup from him and he stood next to me. We were as close as Sai and I were prior to this event, yet it felt different. The atmosphere felt different. It was almost like we weren't in a bare room, but floating in space with the constellations hanging above us.

Taking a sip of the drink, the liquid hit the back of my throat roughly and nearly spiked up my gag reflex. It stung and that was when I realized the drink was actually alcohol.

"Uhm, yeah. I had a headache, plus I have to go home soon anyways."

He nodded and tilted his head to the ceiling. "This party is a bust anyways, not that great."

"Yeah..." I agreed, like I've been to millions of parties before.

There was a pause.

"Do you got a ride home?"

"What?" I asked.

"A ride? Home? Got one?" Sasuke repeated, turning the angle of his head so he'd look at me with those dark eyes.

"...No." I had no idea why I hesitated. Maybe it was because of the intensity of his look.

He pushed himself off the wall and dug in his pocket for a second. He had about a billion of dark thread bracelets on his left wrist. The colors ranged from a dark blue, to red, and black. There were a few white ones, but they didn't stand out that much. Sasuke pulled out a pair of keys and swung them on his index finger.

"I'll take you home." Sasuke said. "I don't bite. Plus I know Sai, and Shikamaru. Isn't your friend that blonde girl that hangs out around them?"

My breath caught in my throat. Was he actually offering _me_ a drive to my house? Me? Sakura Haruno who somehow repels boys?

He reached out to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. They weren't heavy, actually they were the opposite of that. They were light.

"C'mon, Sakura, live a little." Sasuke simpered.

The words were jumbled up in my mouth, slipping away just as I parted my lips and formed a sensible sentence which was: "Can I go say bye to Ino? She's the blonde."

"Sure."

I slipped away under his touch that left my shoulder-blades tingling. Miraculously, I managed to make it into the kitchen, without tripping, where a gaggle of people were playing beer pong with a quarter. Ino was easy to spot amongst all the dark haired boys and red haired girls.

Pulling her aside, I began telling her about Sasuke and the ride home.

"Woah!" She yelped, grinning. "Go for it! And if you don't pick up the phone tomorrow, or your parents call my mom to ask where you are, I'll report him to the police!"

Shikamaru called her name and Ino gave him a wave to gesture that she'd be only a minute.

"Go for it! Be safe!"

After that she gave me a goodbye hug and told me that Sai was playing beer pong and that she'd give him a goodbye from me. I headed back over to Sasuke who was whistling a tune and swinging his keys back and forth.

"Ready to go?" He asked once he spotted me.

I nodded but gave a glance to the party that was going on just as cheers erupted. It occurred to me that Sasuke didn't know anything about me, as we walked through the open garage and down the driveway to his car. He didn't know who I was. He didn't know about my life or how I was always in Ino's shadow. I could be anyone to him right now, and maybe that's what made me go with him. The possibilities of myself being someone else instead of ordinary me was limitless. It made everything possible.

"Where are we going?" Sasuke questioned me evenly.

Instead of answering right away, I cast a look behind me and at the lit house with Ino and Shikamaru kissing and plain Sai with a quarter in his hand until he realized that I was gone.

Somehow, it felt like I was a new person. Like I had left an invisible part of me with Sai back in that house.

* * *

**Extra Notes:** Please review. This chapter took like 3 months to make. Please tell me if I should continue, even though Sasuke is slightly ooc.


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